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The best part of eating Chinese food with friends comes after the meal, when you take turns reading your fortunes out loud—adding the phrase “in bed” at the end. In that spirit, here are some things “they” say you shouldn’t do…in bed (but we say “go right ahead.”)
Eat crackers in bed. We’re partial to both Ritz and Triscuits. Or a nice Carr’s Water Biscuit with a suitably runny brie. (Of course Goldfish are great for reliving those toddler years.)
Do a 180 in bed. Sleep with your head where your feet usually go. Or hey—go nuts and do a 540.
Put a hat on your bed. Ha! We scoff at your silly superstition!
Jump on the bed. It’s your bed. Hop on it to your heart’s content. Maybe invite some monkeys over to join you. (But first put the doctor on speed-dial.)
Watch TV in bed. Yes, we’ve heard the wisdom from on high: Thy bed must be reserved only for sleeping. But come on—who doesn’t love kicking back in the sack for a weekend of binge-watching?
Go back to bed. If you’re lucky enough to have a bed you love (and your immediate attention isn’t required to avert a catastrophe) go for it. You can tell people “The Internet said it was OK.”
